Happy New Year.

I'm going to be honest with you, I'm writing this post purely out of emotion, and how I feel at this given time...

I know I'm a few days late but, Happy New Year everyone!

First off: I do not approve of this Laser sailing video. Come on, if your going to disrespect a Laser as far as to put wings on it- at least use a full rig. Still a pretty cool and interesting setup though, maybe we will see a  kite up on a Laser next, haha.

I hope 2012 proves to be a great year for all of you- an improvement from 2011 at least.

Also, good luck to all of you with your resolutions and goals for this upcoming year, I'm hoping most of your goals are sailing related and involve spreading the word of this sport to friends and family as to grow the number of sailors we have getting on the water!


As for me, I don't really believe in 'New Years Resolutions' so I don't tend to set them, not this year at least. Last year I set a goal to improve in my sailing, to sail more, to train more, with the eventual hope of making the team at CofC... Yes, I did end up sailing and training more, I improved quite a lot in 2011 as well, not only with my sailing but with my fitness level as well. I felt like I made decent progress overall during 2011, and it was a great improvement over 2010 having gained so much more experience in the Laser....
Well, up until August at least, up until that day I realized I didn't and I wouldn't make the CofC team- and that reality has pretty much thrown me so far off of my 'planned' path that I'm lost and have no idea how to recover. Sure, my 'planned' path into and through the sailing world may have been unattainable, although extremely realistic, but now I am without a path and without the slightest idea of what to do.

I've thought about so many different scenarios (including quitting sailing all together) and have come up with no solution.

2011 made me realize that I have a strong obsession with the sport of sailing, an obsession that nobody in my family will ever understand or be able to fully support, an obsession that causes me to think poorly of myself as I realize the opportunities lost over the years that could have helped me to realize my goals, an obsession that is becoming increasingly harder to satisfy and is leaving me feeling empty.
I don't know why I'm so overly obsessed with sailing, I was never the top sailor on even a National level, and always a mid-fleeter or worse on the big named international regattas. There's no reason I should be so obsessed with something that I've never come close to being successful at.

I know I'm the only one to blame for putting myself in this situation of feeling hopeless as it comes to my future in the sailing world. Perhaps if I would have tried harder when I was 11 or 12, or maybe if I would have bought my laser the year before and got an earlier start, perhaps I should have sailed that OCR that I thought would be a waste of money (just for the experience). There's tons of things I could have done in the past to better prepare me for College tryouts and the future beyond that. Point is, I didn't accomplish the main thing I set out to do as a sailor, and as a result I am back at the beginning of the path frantically trying to find my way.

It's like I can't make up my mind, I don't even know where to start, I don't know what I want either. I currently am taking offers for both my Hobie 18 and my Laser... Not because I want to sell the boats for cash, but because I'm desperately searching for something new to develop into and develop fast- I just want to get rid of these boats and find that long term boat that I can grow into. I want to be good at sailing, desperately. And the sad part is now that I've realized how much my life sucks without having sailing in it the way it used to be (the way it was when we actually had events to train for), I realized I'd do anything to get up to that level or even just to get back into the sport in a serious way.

In the past, when we were on the 'Nassau Yacht Club International Junior Team'- we used to have events to look forward to, we had coached practice sessions 3x a week, we had workout schedules, classroom sessions, meetings, fundraising, etc. We had boats to take care of, friends to train with, and just the anticipation of representing our Yacht Club and our Country.
Now, I have nothing. I have 2 boats sitting at the Yacht Club that would take a few hours of prep work just to be able to go sailing, I have no events on my list for 2012, the one event I wanted to attend (Snipe Miami Invitational) got shot down almost immediately, I have no idea what boat I want to progress into, no idea if I want to stick with dinghies or get into keelboats. I wouldn't even know what to do if I decided to go to Mids East in 2012- I'm too old to be seriously racing Radials, I'm too small for full rigs, I don't have any way of getting there, all my gear is spread out between the Bahamas and Charleston.
I have nobody to talk to who would understand my situation and give me guidance, not very much resources, and the life of a full time college student to balance with all of this.

I just need a plan, and I need one fast. No body, none of my closest friends, understand how bugged I am by all of this. I literally think about sailing most of my day... But yet I haven't been on the water in over a month. Why is it like this, am I slowly drifting out of the sport? I have no idea whats wrong with me, and I agree this is 100% my fault... The motivation isn't there, but the desire is.
Do I want to focus solely on keelboats? Or get into something new like Multihulls? Is there anyway I can find a new class that would allow me to be able to compete being a full time college student in Charleston? What would be the most plausible Olympic Class for someone like me to look into?

It'll be interesting to see what 2012 brings... Hopefully more than just realization of my silly childhood dreams of an Olympic campaign or racing big boats in Europe getting crushed.

As for now, I look forward to getting back to Charleston and helping out the JI kids with their high school sailing, and I especially look forward to getting back with the CofC Club Team and helping to get that program organized and growing!

And that was my rant....


And as the Blog post draws to a conclusion... Check this sweet video out from our friends in Grand Bahama who make me wish on a daily basis that I was born 10 years later within walking distance of the GBSC.


SailFast, Live Slow.